Mental Health Awareness Month Day 29.
The beauty of a good therapist is they let you realize what you need to do instead of telling you what to do.
I wrote that as one of the 31 things at the beginning of the month. I was trying to sum up why my counselor in San Diego was SO great. That is definitely one reason she was so amazing.
What’s funny is I had a counseling session (via Zoom) last night where this exact thing was demonstrated. My new counselor talked to me about compassionate voices. He showed me a video about them. Then he role-played the non-compassionate voices and what they say regarding a current problem I’m super frustrated about. Next he role-played compassionate voices about the same issue. He asked me how each felt and what the difference was. I told him the “mean” voices were impatient and made me feel obligated like I have to do this thing. The “nice” voices were understanding and validating and they heard me, but at the same time reminded me what would be best.
Nobody wants to be told what to do. Not as a child, and not as an adult. We are averse to commands and demands. It’s like once you tell us we have to take out the trash, we are most likely not going to take out the trash. But if you feel heard and are reminded that taking out the trash is in your best interest, you’re more likely to do it. Another difference between the two approaches is that the first seems to just want it immediately and is focused on that one thing and doesn’t care about how you feel or what you think. But the second seems to be patient and caring and focuses on the bigger picture.
There are many voices in my head the majority of the time. And for most of my life those voices have been cruel and unrelenting. Those voices have been ashamed of me and continued to put me down and break me apart. However, over the last few months I have been trying to be aware of my inner dialogue and change the voices. I have been trying to quiet the degrading and demeaning ones and instill kind and loving ones. It may sound silly. Does it really matter how we talk to ourselves? But it does!
If another person said mean things to us, we would be hurt. It would make sense that the mean thing they said hurt us. Why then is it we permit ourselves to speak so viciously to our minds and souls? Why is it acceptable to treat ourselves like shit but nobody else? We won’t put up with the slightest rude comment from someone else, but we allow ourselves to stone us.
We need to be our own best friend. After all, we know ourselves better than anyone else. We deserve all the patience, kindness, understanding, acceptance, validation, care, and love in the world. Who best to give us all of those things than ourselves? If we can’t be gentle with ourselves, how can we expect that from anyone else?
The way we talk to ourselves matters. The way we treat ourselves matters. The way we help each other matters. Let’s be more forgiving and merciful with ourselves instead of cracking a relentless whip of harshness. #heber #compassion #innerdialogue #voicesinmyhead #speakkindlytoyourself #beyourbestfriend #begentlewithyourself #lovewins #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #mentalhealthinthetimeofcorona #coronavirus #covid19 #corona2020 #letsbereal #31in31at31 #agamutofgrey #lifeisbeautiful #may2020 5.29.20
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