Treat Others the Way THEY Want to Be Treated 5.25.20

Mental Health Awareness Month Day 25.

The Golden Rule is okay. The Platinum Rule is better - treat others how THEY want to be treated.

Most of us were taught and/or have at least heard of the Golden Rule. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Treat others the way you want to be treated. This is a good baseline if you don’t know what to do or say in a situation where someone else is involved or someone else will be affected. But the next level would be to treat others how THEY want to be treated.

I have been asked repeatedly how I got into photography. Often I answer by saying something cheesy like, I’ve had a camera in my hand ever since I can remember. (Which is technically true.) In thinking about why that is, I discovered that my passion to document life goes much deeper than the fact that I have pretty much always had a camera. I can count on one hand how many family pictures I have of me, my brother, and my parents. (There were only 4 of us. So it should have been easy to take a family photo regularly, right? But that just wasn’t the case with my family.) Because of my lack of family pictures, I subconsciously developed a desire to photograph everyone else. In doing so, I just assumed that everyone wished they could have precious moments of themselves and their loved ones captured forever. To a fault though, because when someone tells me they don’t want their picture taken and/or posted online, my gut reaction is to deny their reality and tell myself, that’s not true. At some point, they will look back and be glad they have that photograph. And that is because that is what I WANT. I try to be okay with people who say no to pictures. But it’s hard for me because I wish I had more photos of my immediate family. And I truly believe you will regret the photographs you didn’t take, not the ones you did.

That’s just one silly example of the Golden Rule versus “The Platinum Rule”. To me, the Golden Rule seems easier to follow because I know myself better than anyone else and I know what I want and what I like (or in theory I do anyway). However, treating someone the way THEY want to be treated involves more work and effort. You have to get to know someone. You have to listen to someone. You have to understand them. You have to put aside yourself, to learn how to treat them the way they would like to be treated. You have to stop thinking about what you want and ask them what they want.

I am not saying to neglect or hurt yourself to give others what they want. And I am not saying it’s okay to neglect or hurt someone else if it’s what they want. In general, I think there is room for improvement in all of our relationships. And one way we can make them better is to learn what the other person actually wants and give them that instead of just giving them what we would want or what we think they want. #heber #thegoldenrule #theplatinumrule #treatothersthewaytheywanttobetreated #improve #listen #bebetter #beselfless #belessselfish #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #mentalhealthinthetimeofcorona #coronavirus #covid19 #corona2020 #letsbereal #31in31at31 #agamutofgrey #lifeisbeautiful #may2020 5.25.20