A Christmas to forget...

I have to say that I'm grateful Christmas wasn't bad this year, but it wasn't good either. I don't really think it had anything to do with the economy, although I'd like to blame it all on that.  I literally got two presents - a bag of Dove chocolate and a Willow Tree figurine. I knew I wasn't going to get much, but it's still kind of a drag.  I know that's not what Christmas is about anyway, and so I tried not to dwell on it because that's rather vain.

It was my last Christmas with Corey for 2 years.  Weird to think that.  Christmas Eve was the highlight of my week closely followed by Tuesday and then tonight.  Christmas day comes in last.  

It's nice to be in San Diego.  There's not really too many exciting things happening here.  I'm just trying to save for my MesoAmerica trip. 

Well, time for bed.  I've been up since 4:30 this morning. We had to sticker and mark down holiday items for clearance at Barnes & Noble.  It nearly killed me to be up that early, but I have to admit it was nice to be off by 1 this afternoon.

Family Traditions

First off, my immediate family doesn't have any family traditions.  We never really have. It's always kind of bothered me, but I just keep trying to tell myself that someday, I'll have my own family, and we'll have our own family traditions.  But then it feels like someday is never going to come.

Christmas is a hard time for a lot of people.  Especially those who have had loved ones pass on, who are without them now.  I'm only 20, and despite the trials in my life, I still shouldn't be saying that Christmas is a hard time for me, but it is.  I can't lie.  It's a hard time.

But it shouldn't be for me or anyone because Christmas is the celebration of Christ's birth.  What is happier than that blessed event!  It is a time to think of others and serve.  Not to dwell on ourselves and what we wish we had.  I just hope that I can learn to enjoy Christmas and focus on my Savior rather than the lack of traditions, decorations, and festivities in my life.

PASSED!!!!!!

I have never been more worried about passing a class in my life than I was about passing calculus this semester!  And I've never been more excited to say I PASSED  than right now!!!  I am SO excited that I passed!  I only have to take calc 2 and then I'm done with the hard math, I think and hope!  Anyway, I just found that out tonight, and I'm SO relieved!

Just a side note, it is pouring rain in San Diego right now! This is SO weird, but I'm totally loving it and soaking it up. It rained all day today!

I also am working full-time at Barnes & Noble, which is such a blessing, and I'm so grateful to have a good job right now!

home at last...

I ended up leaving Idaho on Friday instead of Thursday.  I took an extra day to study for my calc test.  I have never hated math SO much in my life!  I studied for six hours between Thursday and Friday, and then the actual final took two hours.  I will know my fate by Thursday.  Hopefully, I passed...

I made it home safely, although getting here was pretty interesting.  The weather was pretty crazy the whole way home.  I drove through snow, high wind (so bad that I had to over correct where the wind was pushing my car), dust as thick as fog, and rain.  It kept me awake though, so that's good.  

I got home last night, and I start working at Barnes and Noble on Monday.  They hired me back on full time, which is such a blessing especially since the economy is pretty terrible right now.  I know it's a direct result of paying my tithing, and there were times during the semester that I wondered how I would pay for groceries, gas, bills, etc. and pay my tithing.  But it always worked out because I paid my tithing.  I'm grateful for that blessing in my life.

I got to see my cousin's baby, Grant Rogers, last night.  He is SO adorable!  I told Lahren I could hold him forever.  I'm so excited I get to be around for his baby blessing and these first for four months or so.  I also went and saw my newly married cousin and her apartment.  It's way cute!  I'm so grateful for my cousin's and their husbands! They are awesome!  I'm so lucky I get to be a part of their lives!

Now, I just have to get settled in and figure out what I want to do.  I'm so excited to be here with Corey, even though there is really no room for me in my own house.  It's nice to have some time with him before he leaves on his mission. And I'm way excited to be attending my home ward!  I'm looking forward to this new adventure...

last night in Rexburg...

This doesn't feel real... my car is packed, I checked out of my apartment (my keychain is half as light as it used to be), my classes are over, I don't work at the bookstore any more, and... I'm still in Rexburg!

I want to be home, but I don't.  I am only here because I still have one more final, my calc final, and I am not looking forward to it.  I am staying at a friend's apartment tonight, and I am going to finish studying in the morning so I can go take it and do decently and not fail the class.  Hopefully. Then I get to wait a week to see what my grade is.  

I know I'm going to miss so many things about being in Rexburg.  I definitely won't miss the cold though!  I'm looking forward to going home to much warmer weather. But I've made so many friends, and I keep saying bye. Then they're like, am I ever going to see you again, and I realize that it's likely we might not.  But that's how life is. People come in and out, and you move on.

contrary to belief, the world isn't coming to an end

I've been wanting to talk to my brother all week.  I tried calling a couple of times, but I never got a hold of him.  He never called me back though.  It was very not like us, to not talk to each other for a whole week.  I finally got a hold of him tonight.  Apparently, his cell phone is not working. Bummer!

Tonight I had a Christmas party for work.  It was very nice, although the whole time I was there I was wishing I was home.  I was really looking forward to it, but then I got there and didn't want to socialize.  

And then I had a rude awakening this evening.  I can be so mean sometimes.  And it kills me.  Even if I am, people still just welcome me with open arms.  I don't get it.  I feel so undeserving of them.  I know none of us are perfect, we all have our weaknesses, etc, but I just don't feel like I deserve what I've been blessed with.  

I really had a great day today.  I was actually really happy. But tonight I had a reality check and realized so many things.  

Baby Grant Royal Rogers is here!

I don't know how many of you knew, but my cousin Lahren Rogers was pregnant with her first.  Grant Royal Rogers joined her family today, and he was 11 lbs.  I don't know anything else, but hopefully I'll get the rest of the stats soon.  When I go home,  I'll take pictures and post them.  It's so exciting!  I have a baby cousin (first cousin, once removed)!  I can't wait to see him!

Sorry, I'll stop posting every 5 minutes!  lol

you're gonna miss this

That is one of my FAVORITE songs!  And I first heard it while I was in San Diego, and I miss it!  ALL of it!  But now that I'm so anxious for this semester to be over, to quit working at the bookstore, to finish calculus, and to leave Idaho, I KNOW I'm going to miss this.

Yay for great friends!  That keep me sane.  I don't know what I'd do without them!  I'm gonna miss them when I go home!  Gotta live it up now since I only have nine days left!

we'll miss Elder Wirthlin!

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin passed away last night.  I can't believe it!  I actually am surprised he lived as long as he did.  He has looked very frail for quite sometime now.  As much as I'll miss him, I am happy because he is with his wife now.  I loved Elder Wirthlin!

Joseph B. Wirthlin, Oldest Apostle, Dies, Age 91 - LDS Newsroom

holidays???

I don't know.  This probably doesn't make any sense, but I hate holidays and love them. Thanksgiving was... interesting this year.  It was like deja vu of last year, except we're all a year older, one more of us is married, and one of us is leaving on a mission.  I'm sorry and not sorry.  And I was happy to be home, but not.  I know... it doesn't make any sense.

School is quite overwhelming right now.  But only eight more days!  And then I can be free at last!  And I think I'm going to change course a little bit, but I haven't made any final decisions yet.  I'm still kind of waiting to see how everything is going to play out... that will be interesting...

I need to learn to love the holidays more instead of dreading them.  That's all.