We All Want the Same Things 5.13.20

Mental Health Awareness Month Day 13.

We all want the same things.

There are two things that I mean by this. One, we are much more alike than we have come to believe. Two, we all want the same things. I don’t mean tangible things. I mean the intangible things that give life meaning and purpose. We all want acceptance, belonging, validation, understanding, and love.

At the beginning of March, I hiked a little part of the Pacific Crest Trail with an avid adventurer. (If he wasn’t working, he could be found rock climbing, mountain biking, camping, hiking, exploring caves, etc.) In an effort to get to know me, he was asking some probing questions. Most of them I kept deflecting because I was scared. I felt uncomfortable. I was kind of surprised that this guy who I had just met wanted to know about me. Not just my favorite color or what I did for fun, but what made me Christina and how I became this version of myself.

I decided to bend a little and answer some questions. As I did, I kept waiting for him to be shocked and/or disgusted. But I remember he just said, what? Like, what’s the big deal? Do you think you’re the only one who has felt that way? I was completely caught off guard. I thought, you still want to talk to me?

He probably thought absolutely nothing of our exchange. But for me, it opened my eyes. I realized that the weaknesses and imperfections I hated about myself didn’t make him hate me. I wasn’t used to being accepted for me, even with the things I don’t like about myself. After all, I am not who I am today just because of the things I love about myself. I am who I am because of it all - the good, the bad, the ugly. And the bad doesn’t make me a bad person. It doesn’t make me less worthy of friendships or love or belonging. It just makes me human.

We all want the same things. We each want to be accepted. We want to belong. We want to be heard and validated. We want to be understood. And we want to be loved. We are on the same team.

If we could just remember that, we would stop putting up walls between each other and instead we would build bridges. We would discuss instead of fight. We would help instead of harm. We would rescue instead of kill. We would love instead of hate.

When I remember that, the glass becomes half full instead of half empty. I can see that people are doing the best they can. Usually their intentions are for good. Even when people hurt people, there is more to the story. There is most likely some underlying need that isn’t being met. That doesn’t justify their actions when they cause pain to others, but it makes it easier for us to have compassion on them. And we all need more compassion.

The next time somebody cuts you off on the road or makes you wear a face mask (or doesn’t wear a face mask), give them the benefit of the doubt and remember we all want the same things. #heber #weallwantthesamethings #facemasks #coronavirus #covid19 #corona2020 #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #mentalhealthinthetimeofcorona #letsbereal #31in31at31 #agamutofgrey #lifeisbeautiful #may2020 5.13.20