Mental Health Awareness Month Day 30.
No two people ever have the exact same experience.
As I’ve mentioned previously, I grew up in a dysfunctional house. I am incredibly grateful that at 9 years old, I met the Densley’s. (Honestly, I don’t think I could have made it through my childhood without them.) When I met them they had two kids. (They are about 3.5 and 6 years younger than me, which at the time felt like a HUGE difference. Later they had two more kids. And they are are 13 and 15 years younger than me.) I remember hearing them complain about their parents, as most kids do. I couldn’t understand why they seemed annoyed about their parents, who to me seemed like the best parents. Because I was SO much older than them, I felt justified thinking that they had no idea how good they had it. To me, their life was great because their parents were amazing. I wished they could see that.
Now that we’re all grown up, I have realized that no two people ever have the exact same experience. In my eyes, the Densley’s were the parents I always wished I had. Each of their kids has a different perspective on how they were raised. And that is okay. When I was little, it was aggravating to me. Why couldn’t they just be grateful for their parents?! But I saw their family through the lens of my own family. So it was easy for me to wish for something that looked better than what I had. They didn’t know any different, so how could they feel the same way I felt?
We are constantly comparing ourselves to those around us. In essence, we’re seeing everyone else’s life through the filter of our own. We think they should do this or not do that. We judge people on what we see in passing based on our own experience. We forget that their story is a novel, and we have only seen a page or a chapter of it. We don’t even see clearly the people we’re closest to. We overlook the fact that another’s decisions are based on everything they have faced. We think we know better because we’ve been through more or had a harder life. But the truth is they are trying their best just like we are.
People tell us about something that happened to them. We try to relate by sharing what we think is a similar story. But the reality is no two people ever have the exact same experience. We are all uniquely different. Just because of our individuality, we will never have the very same vantage point. We may both ride a roller coaster, but I come off it never wanting to do that again. Meanwhile, you had the time of your life.
Each one of us is who we are because of the collective experiences we have had over our lifetime. What we believe, the way we think, how we feel, what we say, what we do is all based on that collective experience. Instead of judging and trying to convince people our way is better, we need to embrace our differences. We need to accept that there is more than one way to reach our goals. One woman can breastfeed her kids, work, and still be a wonderful mom. And another woman can bottle feed her kids, stay at home, and also be a wonderful mom. There is no one way to do things. We can have differing ways of living and still love each other.
Let’s remember to validate each other’s experiences and listen to each other instead of comparing ourselves by making their stories seem not as incredible or not as awful as our own. Life isn’t a competition. And no two people ever have the exact same experience. #stgeorge #individuality #stopcomparing #validate #listen #acceptance #lifeisntarace #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #mentalhealthinthetimeofcorona #coronavirus #covid19 #corona2020 #letsbereal #31in31at31 #agamutofgrey #lifeisbeautiful #may2020 5.30.20
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