not just one but two! (50th Post!)

*Sorry, this is a really long post.  Brace yourselves...*

I had a really terrible day today.  Okay it wasn't that bad, but going to my calc class makes me feel like the world is coming to an end because I can't understand or learn anything in that class to save my life.  And I leave really angry because I feel so stupid, like I should get this and I can't.  Then work was just frustrating.  Basically, I feel like my job is pointless because there are three of us there in my department who stand around doing nothing, and I hate standing around doing nothing.  That's one of my biggest pet peeves.  Sure, I'm getting paid to do nothing, but I'd rather go do something productive. Anyway...

After work I had a meeting with my tour for MesoAmerica.  I got to see most of the people going next summer, and besides Caitlin, I kind of knew another girl there.  She and I both applied to be EFY counselors next summer and were in the same group interview.  So, that was fun to see her! She's a fairly new member of the church, but she has such a solid testimony!  She's amazing!  This meeting put me in a slightly better mood, but then after I walked home alone in the cold dark, which was slightly depressing.

Then I checked my mail, on my way to my apartment, which is just a daily routine now.  On my way home, I stop and get the mail.  Usually there is nothing, it's junk or a bill, or not for me, but not today!  I got two letters from my two best friends on missions.  I was kind of only expecting one, but I got two!  One is serving in Italy, and she comes home in December.  The other is serving in Ogden, and he been gone for almost seven months.  It was SO exciting to hear from them!  And they both included pictures!  I love them so much!  They are such wonderful friends!  I feel so blessed to have them in my life!

November 17.  Really?  November's almost over!  It's crazy! I'll be home in like four weeks!  I'm so excited!  Especially to see Corey!  More than anything!  And his call!  I love him so much!  I can't even be sad or think about missing him because I'm just so happy for him!  I'm not gonna lie, I'm a bit jealous too.  He's going to Japan!  That's the number one place on my list of places to go.  You may think that's weird, but I think it's because I had an uncle and a very close friend, like my second dad, serve missions there.  My uncle lived there for like 12 years I believe, and my friend lived there for five years, I think.  I may not be dying to try sushi or any other Japanese cuisine, but I just want to go there!

I have nine months until I could go on a mission!  That's crazy!  I can't believe how time has gone by since I graduated high school!  Life is crazy, but amazing!  I would honestly love to serve a mission!  And since October of last year, I've felt like I really would want to go.  This week, I've felt a little differently, but then getting letters from missionaries telling me how I will go on a mission and it would be so cool if I got called to Italy.  

Actually, my top three places to serve missions are Japan, Italy, and Utah. That may seem odd and random.  Japan, for obvious reasons.  I've always wanted to go there. Italy, because that is my number two place I want to go, and because I also know at least four people who have served missions there.  (My friend who is currently there, a friend from my aunt's ward, and two of my bishops.)  Utah, because I LOVE Utah.  I can't even explain it.  It's just this weird obsession I have.  

Ever since I could remember I wanted to go to BYU, and then I got sent to BYU Idaho, which was way disappointing. (But I quickly got over it, and I love Rexburg!)  But every time I drive through Utah, visit, or even think about it, I have the best feelings about that place! Some of my friends and roommates really thought I was from Utah. Apparently, they think I fit Utah better than California.  Haha!  And all growing up, I always wished I was from Utah.  I don't know why.  It's hard to explain.  I know lots of people that hate Utah, and it makes me sad.  I know lots of people who live in Utah and served and are are serving missions there, and I think Utah is overestimated as far as the church goes. There is a lot of missionary work to be done there.  Also, when I was little I wanted to serve my mission on Temple Square.  I don't know why.  Maybe I just want to see the temple every day.  The Salt Lake City Temple is my absolute favorite!  That's where I want to get married!  It's beautiful! San Diego and Rexburg temples come in as close seconds.

Anyway, enough dreaming about where I want to go on a mission.  For starters, I probably wouldn't get sent to any of those places just because they would be where I want to go. And if I do go on a mission, I know I will go where the Lord wants me to go and where He needs me most, where it would be best for me to be.  But for now, there has been no decision made as to serving a mission.  It's on my mind every day.  How could it not be?  I love the gospel!  I feel so blessed to have it in my life!  I wish everyone I knew had it too!  I don't know how they live life without it!  It truly has made me who I am.  I am forever indebted to my parents for being members and raising me in the church.  

I apologize for such a long post.  I just wanted to write, and I could have just wrote in my journal, but I felt like I wanted to share my feelings, since I don't usually write so much or go into a whole lot of detail.