More than Survive
When you're in survival mode, you don't allow yourself the space to breathe and be. You are just doing what absolutely needs to be done. You are trying to not drown. You aren't aware of anyone or anything around you. You aren't aware of your actual breath either. Because you are hyper focused on survival. Although you may not be aware that what you're dealing with is akin to being alone in the middle of nowhere not knowing when you will eat or drink next, to your subscious it is that life or death. Nothing matters except your own survival. I lived many years in survival mode without even realizing it. Because I had spent my entire childhood and teen years in survival mode too. It was all I knew. How could I know there was any other way to live? It became incredibly miserable and exhausting. I felt like I couldn't live indefinitely that way. It is no wonder to me that I dealt with intense suicidality and depression for years and years. How could I not?? A few da...