California, I'm Back!

At 6:52am on Sunday, June 8th I drove into California. Not to visit, but for good!

I have lived in Utah most of the last 10, not quite 11 years. I was Mormon and grew up wanting to live in Utah, or the Mormon bubble. And my dream of living in the most Mormon state ever finally happened in the summer of 2014 after I called off a wedding. I loved living in Mormonville! After leaving the Mormon church in 2019, Utah wasn't as fun to live in. I stayed out of comfort, even though I didn't want to constantly see reminders of the Mormon church. Last year, I realized I was ready to leave.

In November 2024, I went to Washington state because I was considering moving there. After visiting Seattle and Tacoma, I decided there wasn't enough sun, and I had no desire to live in Washington. Then I started wondering, what if I just move back to San Diego? So the wheels started turning.

I had grown used to spending most of my time alone. But I longed for local support. I knew I had created my own isolation, but I didn't want to be alone. I wanted close friends or a tribe and a partner. I would occasionally go out alone or go to meet people at coffee shops, game nights, workshops or other events, but it felt so discouraging. I don't love group settings. It's too many people, and I usually end up too stimulated. It just seemed like too much effort for no results.

The Densley's, the family who became family to me and lived on my same street growing up, all lived in San Diego. Also, one of my aunts and uncles and a couple of my cousins still live here. And my brother and his family live in Riverside County, just north of San Diego. And although, I've been distant from my parents most of my adult life (most of my childhood and teenage years as well), my mom and I have been getting closer over the last 6-8 months. And part of me wanted to be close to her geographically and help make her life a little less painful. So I decided to move back to San Diego and live with my parents. And I'm here!