contrary to belief, the world isn't coming to an end

I've been wanting to talk to my brother all week.  I tried calling a couple of times, but I never got a hold of him.  He never called me back though.  It was very not like us, to not talk to each other for a whole week.  I finally got a hold of him tonight.  Apparently, his cell phone is not working. Bummer!

Tonight I had a Christmas party for work.  It was very nice, although the whole time I was there I was wishing I was home.  I was really looking forward to it, but then I got there and didn't want to socialize.  

And then I had a rude awakening this evening.  I can be so mean sometimes.  And it kills me.  Even if I am, people still just welcome me with open arms.  I don't get it.  I feel so undeserving of them.  I know none of us are perfect, we all have our weaknesses, etc, but I just don't feel like I deserve what I've been blessed with.  

I really had a great day today.  I was actually really happy. But tonight I had a reality check and realized so many things.