where did all of it come from?

Today I went to church, and it was great! I got to see some new faces and socialize since I've been so bored. I feel like I've been people deprived since I got up here. Haha! And I don't have a calling right now, I don't go to school, and I don't have a job yet. It's a weird feeling to not have a set schedule, but I'm enjoying it because I know it won't last for long.

My roommates and I were just all sitting around talking, and somehow we ended talking about me. And now they know my whole life story, literally! I don't know how that happened.

I really hate telling people about my life because... well, I just do. I mean I like keeping in touch with people, but I don't normally just tell someone everything when I first meet them. Not even the people I've known longest know everything I just told my roommates.

It's just ironic... we live in this bubble. We automatically assume that everyone we know came from a "perfect family" (and that's relative, I don't mean literally perfect) when in reality the chances are they didn't. One of my roommates isn't sealed to her family (this is how it came up), and I told her I'm not either.




Someday I want to write a book about my life, but I don't know what kind. I am leaning more towards a memoir since I started reading The Glass Castle, but then again that's not very original. So many memoirs are about dysfunctional families. I would just be one more, like everyone else. I know that I have a story to tell, which could influence and change lives, but I don't know how to go about it. I thought maybe if I went into teaching that would be enough, but then I considered writing a book. All I want to do with my life is something that will touch and inspire lives. I would consider my life to be the beginning of a successful and happy life. I want others to learn from the things that I went through. It was far from perfect or ideal, but I wouldn't go back and change anything. Sure, I have some regrets, but had I not messed up then, it would just be somewhere further on down the road when the effects of those mistakes could impact more lives for the worse.

I want people to know that you can live a happy life, even after a painful childhood. I know, people have already done that. It's cliche, but nobody else has my exact story.

I want to help children and teenagers the way so many of you have helped me. I owe it to you.

This comes from knowing and feeling pure joy and great happiness. It's an indescribable feeling!